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	<title>Newton Poetry &#187; microsoft</title>
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	<description>MessagePad Jabberwocky</description>
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		<title>Mr. Ballmer, start your copy machine (again)</title>
		<link>http://newtonpoetry.com/2009/04/28/mr-ballmer-start-your-copy-machine-again/</link>
		<comments>http://newtonpoetry.com/2009/04/28/mr-ballmer-start-your-copy-machine-again/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Tue, 28 Apr 2009 19:39:33 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>davelawrence8</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[ipod/iphone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[iphone]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[media pad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microsoft]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[surface]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[tablet]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[verizon]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[zune]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newtonpoetry.com/?p=1483</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Looks like Microsoft maybe trying to copy the iPhone. Not that that&#8217;s every happened before, right? Microsoft copying Apple? What say you, Mr. Ballmer? Next they&#8217;ll attempt to replicate some sort of &#8220;media pad&#8221; tablet device, or a smaller version of the Zune phone. Have they no shame?]]></description>
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<p>Looks like Microsoft maybe <a href="http://www.appleinsider.com/articles/09/04/28/microsoft_looking_to_launch_iphone_rival_on_verizons_network.html">trying to copy the iPhone</a>.</p>
<p>Not that that&#8217;s every happened before, right?  Microsoft copying Apple?  What say you, <a href="http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com/">Mr. Ballmer</a>?</p>
<p>Next they&#8217;ll attempt to replicate some sort of &#8220;<a href="http://www.businessweek.com/technology/content/apr2009/tc20090427_328264.htm">media pad</a>&#8221; tablet device, or a smaller version of the Zune phone.</p>
<p>Have they no shame?</p>
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		<slash:comments>1</slash:comments>
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		<item>
		<title>National Bring Your Mac To Work Day</title>
		<link>http://newtonpoetry.com/2009/01/09/national-bring-your-mac-to-work-day/</link>
		<comments>http://newtonpoetry.com/2009/01/09/national-bring-your-mac-to-work-day/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Fri, 09 Jan 2009 12:21:49 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>davelawrence8</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[macs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[g4]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[ibook]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[imovie]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[mac]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microsoft]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[movie maker]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[NBYMTWD]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[powermac]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[video]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[windows]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[work]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newtonpoetry.com/?p=1009</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Happy National Bring Your Mac To Work Day, everyone. Wait, what? You&#8217;ve never heard of NBYMTWD? Here&#8217;s how it started. I have some video projects to do at work, and Microsoft Movie Maker just isn&#8217;t cutting it. First, I&#8217;m new to video editing and codecs and file types. Second, Movie Maker will only let you [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><a href="http://www.flickr.com/photos/davelawrence8/2380325246/" title="Upgrade. by davelawrence8, on Flickr"><img src="http://farm3.static.flickr.com/2007/2380325246_597bc3576d_m.jpg" width="240" height="180" alt="Upgrade." /></a></p>
<p>Happy National Bring Your Mac To Work Day, everyone.</p>
<p>Wait, what?  You&#8217;ve never heard of NBYMTWD?</p>
<p>Here&#8217;s how it started.  I have some video projects to do at work, and Microsoft Movie Maker just isn&#8217;t cutting it.  First, I&#8217;m new to video editing and codecs and file types.  Second, Movie Maker will only let you edit movies in a certain format.</p>
<p>My solution?  Bring my iBook to work.  The MPEG files I have will work fine with iMovie (I think), and I can do some translating with VLC.</p>
<p>Plus, I can set aside the Dell and work with a <em>real</em> computer.</p>
<p>I almost brought my PowerMac G4, just so I could use my work LCD and keyboard, but the G4&#8242;s video card isn&#8217;t up to snuff &#8211; I got a warning that said transitions and the Ken Burns Effect might not work without a Quartz Extreme-compatible video card.  Oh well.</p>
<p>January 9.  Let this be a day we can revisit every year: bring your Mac to work to get things done.  Make it a good one!</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<title>Newton MessagePad vs. Steve Ballmer</title>
		<link>http://newtonpoetry.com/2008/07/21/newton-messagepad-vs-steve-ballmer/</link>
		<comments>http://newtonpoetry.com/2008/07/21/newton-messagepad-vs-steve-ballmer/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Mon, 21 Jul 2008 12:41:19 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>davelawrence8</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[humor]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[bill gates]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[blogspot]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fake steve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fake steve jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microsoft]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[steve ballmer]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[steve jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[windows]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newtonpoetry.wordpress.com/?p=431</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[It&#8217;s on. That low-life crank Steve Ballmer, Microsoft&#8217;s CEO, has been leaving comments (here, here, and here) on Newton Poetry, and I&#8217;m tired of the abuse. Okay, not really. It&#8217;s actually &#8220;Fake Steve Ballmer,&#8221; who is the *ahem* last man standing in the battle of fake technology powerhouses. The Fake Ballmer site was a result [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p>It&#8217;s on.</p>
<p>That low-life crank Steve Ballmer, Microsoft&#8217;s CEO, has been leaving comments (<a href="http://newtonpoetry.wordpress.com/2008/07/16/how-newton-handwriting-recognition-works/#comment-856">here</a>, <a href="http://newtonpoetry.wordpress.com/2008/07/17/iphone-3g-its-the-little-things/#comment-855">here</a>, and <a href="http://newtonpoetry.wordpress.com/2008/04/01/apple-replaces-iphone-platform-with-inewton-os/#comment-854">here</a>) on <i>Newton Poetry</i>, and I&#8217;m tired of the abuse.</p>
<p>Okay, not really.  It&#8217;s actually &#8220;<a href="http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com/">Fake Steve Ballmer</a>,&#8221; who is the *ahem* <a href="http://fakesteveballmer.blogspot.com/2008/07/fake-steve-jobs-dan-lyons-throws-in.html">last man standing</a> in the battle of fake technology powerhouses.</p>
<p><a href="http://newtonpoetry.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/ballmer.jpg"><img src="http://newtonpoetry.files.wordpress.com/2008/07/ballmer.jpg?w=214" alt="" width="214" height="300" class="alignright size-medium wp-image-432" /></a>The Fake Ballmer site was a result of Dan Lyon&#8217;s own &#8220;<a href="http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/">The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs</a>&#8221; blog, which &#8211; in its hey-day &#8211; was one of the funniest and spot-on commentaries in technology.  Fake Steve <a href="http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2008/06/top-10-reasons-why-ballmer-should-be.html">thrashed</a> the real Steve Ballmer on a near-constant basis.  Now Fake Ballmer is getting his revenge.</p>
<p>What made the Fake Steve site so funny was Steve Jobs real personality: all Zen-like and simple one minute, and firing people in a hissy fit the next.  Steve Ballmer&#8217;s personality makes for a funny satire, too, but it&#8217;s a little too easy (<a href="http://youtube.com/watch?v=8To-6VIJZRE">developers</a>, anyone?).  People see Ballmer as <a href="http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wvsboPUjrGc&amp;NR=1">an oaf</a> and Bill Gates&#8217;s thug, and Microsoft is always an easy target.</p>
<p>I&#8217;m guessing is that Fake Ballmer is actually an Apple fan or Microsoft critic (or both), because by using Fake Ballmer to defend Microsoft&#8217;s evil, he or she is actually showing how silly it all sounds.</p>
<p>But it&#8217;s still good fun, and we welcome Mr. Ballmer&#8217;s comments anytime here at <i>Newton Poetry</i>.  No Uncle Fester jokes &#8211; I promise.</p>
]]></content:encoded>
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		<slash:comments>5</slash:comments>
		</item>
		<item>
		<title>Windows Vista haiku</title>
		<link>http://newtonpoetry.com/2007/12/05/windows-vista-haiku/</link>
		<comments>http://newtonpoetry.com/2007/12/05/windows-vista-haiku/#comments</comments>
		<pubDate>Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:34:34 +0000</pubDate>
		<dc:creator>davelawrence8</dc:creator>
				<category><![CDATA[haiku]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[apple]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fake steve]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[fake steve jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[forbes]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[messagepad]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[microsoft]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[newton]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[steve jobs]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[vista]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[windows]]></category>
		<category><![CDATA[windows XP]]></category>

		<guid isPermaLink="false">http://newtonpoetry.wordpress.com/2007/12/05/windows-vista-haiku/</guid>
		<description><![CDATA[Vista&#8217;s propsective its view through or long window cold scenes if winter. [Read the original, courtesy of Fake Steve Jobs. Does anyone else read Fake Steve? Because he's hilarious. If Steve Jobs talked like a 14-year-old Valley Boy, the blog would be spot on. Even now that Forbes has officially sponsored the thing, Fake Steve [...]]]></description>
			<content:encoded><![CDATA[<p><img src="http://newtonpoetry.files.wordpress.com/2007/12/vista-logo-white.jpg" alt="vista-logo-white.jpg" /></p>
<p>Vista&#8217;s propsective<br />
its view through or long window<br />
cold scenes if winter.</p>
<p>
[<em><a href="http://fakesteve.blogspot.com/2007/02/from-our-pal-mr-h-aiku.html">Read the original</a>, courtesy of Fake Steve Jobs.  Does anyone else read Fake Steve?  Because he's hilarious.  If Steve Jobs talked like a 14-year-old Valley Boy, the blog would be spot on.  Even now that Forbes has officially sponsored the thing, Fake Steve Jobs keeps the laughs coming.  I'll Newton-ize his poems in the future, but this Windows Vista haiku will do for now.</em>]</p>
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