Newton MessagePad vs. Steve Ballmer

It’s on.

That low-life crank Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO, has been leaving comments (here, here, and here) on Newton Poetry, and I’m tired of the abuse.

Okay, not really. It’s actually “Fake Steve Ballmer,” who is the *ahem* last man standing in the battle of fake technology powerhouses.

The Fake Ballmer site was a result of Dan Lyon’s own “The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs” blog, which – in its hey-day – was one of the funniest and spot-on commentaries in technology. Fake Steve thrashed the real Steve Ballmer on a near-constant basis. Now Fake Ballmer is getting his revenge.

What made the Fake Steve site so funny was Steve Jobs real personality: all Zen-like and simple one minute, and firing people in a hissy fit the next. Steve Ballmer’s personality makes for a funny satire, too, but it’s a little too easy (developers, anyone?). People see Ballmer as an oaf and Bill Gates’s thug, and Microsoft is always an easy target.

I’m guessing is that Fake Ballmer is actually an Apple fan or Microsoft critic (or both), because by using Fake Ballmer to defend Microsoft’s evil, he or she is actually showing how silly it all sounds.

But it’s still good fun, and we welcome Mr. Ballmer’s comments anytime here at Newton Poetry. No Uncle Fester jokes – I promise.


  1. Really?
    As usual you iTards have totally misinterpeted the entire situation!
    – I am NOT Steve Ballmer pretending not to be! You see I am actually me pretending to not be Steve Ballmer pretending to be me!
    – My blog came first!
    – I care NOTHING for this site, but I am concerned about you people’s mental health! (I just care)
    – I have no resemblance to Fester, Young Frankenstien yes, Fester NO!
    – Lie-ons quit because he was embarassed to compare the quality of our blogs!
    – I am not an Oaf! I’m a lapsed Jew.
    – …an Apple Fan? I’d slit my wrist first!

    I post out of pity for you people! Drink down every word, there may be hope!

  2. Thanks Steve. Love the Zune.

  3. No problem

  4. […] you notice Mr. Ballmer’s picture on there, at the end? It comes from my post about FSB a while […]

  5. That will work!

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