Posts tagged “fake steve jobs”.

Quote of the day.

July 29th, 2008

“This is Steve Wozniak. You think I’m a fat lazy billionaire who cuts the line at Apple stores and hasn’t done anything serious with my life since 1982, and I think you’re a shit stain on the underpants of journalism. So can we talk?”

Quoted by Dan Lyon (formerly Fake Steve Jobs), on his new blog “RealDan,” from his phone call from Apple co-founder Steve “Woz” Wozniak.

It’s all thanks to the Steve Jobs opening line generator.

Fun! But I often think about that “haven’t done anything since 1982″ part. Woz was the “good guy” back in the proto-days of Apple, and since then he’s become a teacher and a bit of an inventor, but not much else. I guess when you’re worth millions, you can do whatever the heck you want. Like call Dan up.

Newton MessagePad vs. Steve Ballmer

July 21st, 2008

It’s on.

That low-life crank Steve Ballmer, Microsoft’s CEO, has been leaving comments (here, here, and here) on Newton Poetry, and I’m tired of the abuse.

Okay, not really. It’s actually “Fake Steve Ballmer,” who is the *ahem* last man standing in the battle of fake technology powerhouses.

The Fake Ballmer site was a result of Dan Lyon’s own “The Secret Diary of Steve Jobs” blog, which – in its hey-day – was one of the funniest and spot-on commentaries in technology. Fake Steve thrashed the real Steve Ballmer on a near-constant basis. Now Fake Ballmer is getting his revenge.

What made the Fake Steve site so funny was Steve Jobs real personality: all Zen-like and simple one minute, and firing people in a hissy fit the next. Steve Ballmer’s personality makes for a funny satire, too, but it’s a little too easy (developers, anyone?). People see Ballmer as an oaf and Bill Gates’s thug, and Microsoft is always an easy target.

I’m guessing is that Fake Ballmer is actually an Apple fan or Microsoft critic (or both), because by using Fake Ballmer to defend Microsoft’s evil, he or she is actually showing how silly it all sounds.

But it’s still good fun, and we welcome Mr. Ballmer’s comments anytime here at Newton Poetry. No Uncle Fester jokes – I promise.

Windows Vista haiku

December 5th, 2007

vista-logo-white.jpg

Vista’s propsective
its view through or long window
cold scenes if winter.

[Read the original, courtesy of Fake Steve Jobs. Does anyone else read Fake Steve? Because he's hilarious. If Steve Jobs talked like a 14-year-old Valley Boy, the blog would be spot on. Even now that Forbes has officially sponsored the thing, Fake Steve Jobs keeps the laughs coming. I'll Newton-ize his poems in the future, but this Windows Vista haiku will do for now.]