Newton Poetry

Today I learned that, really, I know nothing about investing.

I reached this conclusion earlier today after, despite all the good news that came our way earlier this week, the word “caution” was thrown around on investing sites like a circus midget.

All this before Apple released its second quarter report:

On Tuesday, Shaw Wu, of American Technology Research, cut his rating on Apple’s stock to neutral from buy. Wu called the move “a very tough decision as we have been bullish on Apple for the past several years.” Wu said he had concerns over the run-up in Apple’s share price after it rose more than 45% in the last two months, saying the stock is “no longer inexpensive” as it traded at 32 times his 2008 calendar year earnings estimate of $5.30 a share. Wu also said there is a chance Apple could experience a product “vacuum” as it prepares to launch new products late in the summer, such as a refreshed line of Mac computers and the anticipated launch of a third-generation iPhone that will run on a faster network that AT&T Inc.’s current network.

So, am I to understand that this kind of “concern” comes from…what…Apple being too successful? Or a calm before the 3G iPhone storm?

I just don’t get it. Yesterday it was “Buy AAPL!” Today’s it’s “well, shares are no longer inexpensive” and “results might not meet expectations.”

What we can all learn is that anyone who puts their brain on AAPL stock immediately loses all sense of focus, self, and sanity. Some call it “volatile,” I call it, “we just did some acid and got on E-trade to mess around.” It makes no sense.

That E-trade baby? The one who pukes and jokes and hangs out with clowns? Even that’s funny compared to this.

And I’m not looking at this as a concerned investor who might get his money back after a stupid gamble. What I don’t understand is how a company’s self-worth is determined by one guy whose quotes enter the financial echo chamber and amnesia sets in – much as a black-out drunk forgets the night before – and everyone behaves as if the day before never even happened.

Have these people no sense of decency? Is this why Alka-Seltzer does so well in the American marketplace? Is it any wonder why Prozac remains in production?

Speaking of Prozac, I think mine’s wearing off…

We’ll see how the shit-fit settles in tomorrow’s market. In the meantime, consider my investing waywardness and day-trading daydreams officially over.