Newton Poetry

So to heck with the iPad – you’ve dreamed of someday winning an Apple Newton MessagePad in some random site’s giveaway.

Well, ThinkGeek has heard your plea. They’re giving away an MP100 and a $1,000 shopping spree from now, April 1, until midnight.

I know, I know – it’s probably a joke, right? Especially considering second prize is an iPad. But Think Geek says, “And while the Newton may seem impossibly awesome, we promise it’s true–this contest is NOT a joke.” Who am I to doubt them? Besides the $1,000 grand prize, the bundled Newton is a heckuva money saver.

When you click through to enter, ThinkGeek asks if you want to receive their updates and promotions, so it could be a genius marketing scheme. Just don’t get me wrong: by “scheme” I mean “I’d love to have one.”

And here I had thought of doing something like this as an anniversary prize or something…

[Via Splorp.]

It’s amazing, the referring web sites that come across WordPress’s blog stats plugin.

Take this one: Google April Fool’s search. Someone searched for “coworkers” on the parody search site and found my post from last year about me pranking my coworkers.

The site isn’t officially affiliated with Google. Instead, it was created by Philipp Lenssen, who runs the Google Blogoscoped blog.

April Fool’s Day is like Christmas for me. I celebrate it every year, much to the chagrin of my roommate and coworkers, because I love to pull pranks.

If nothing else, Google April Fool’s search offers unique job opportunities for those willing to…uh…relocate to exotic destinations.

With April Fool’s coming up soon, this is a site I will be visiting often.

See here, from this month’s issue of Wired. Looks like my little April Fool’s idea hit the big time:

iNewton: Turns your iPhone into a perfect re-creation of the coolest PDA of 1993.

Coolest PDA ever is more like it.

Now if only someone would take the idea seriously.

[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qB_K66mrZi4&hl=en]

I had my own bit of fun for April Fool’s Day, but this is a hoot: a “virus” that makes…well, just watch.

Love the name!

// Originally seen here.

If you checked out today’s earlier post, you can tell I’m a big fan of April Fool’s Day. Always have been.

So last night I crept back into work after hours and installed a “new” computer for one of my coworkers. A Mac SE.

I came up with the idea months ago, but I originally meant to replace all of my coworkers’ workstations with vintage Macs – all four of them. The logistics, however, made me think twice. Lugging two Mac SEs, a Quadra, and an LC 550 up the office stairs didn’t seem worth it. So I pulled some other fun pranks instead.

I even made a “Punch In” alias on the SE’s desktop that mimics our timecard software. It was a MacWrite document, and said, simply, “Happy April Fool’s.”

They got me back, too:

Someone caught me in a woman’s hat at a recent event. One of my coworkers printed off 10 copies and posted them all over the office. It was like 1984, with Big Brother’s face plastered everywhere you went. The above spot was my favorite, however.

My boss, who was not spared in the tomfoolery, liked the Mac SE prank the best, which makes me feel good. For a minute, I thought I was going to walk into work in deep trouble. Thank goodness for good senses of humor.

Happy April Fool’s!  And happy birthday, Apple!

CUPERTINO, Cal. – In a surprising move, Apple, Inc. (AAPL) announced today that it would drop its award-winning OS X Touch platform on iPhone and iPod Touch models in favor of its long-dead Newton operating system.

The updated Newton OS, the software used to run Apple’s discontinued MessagePad PDAs during the early and mid ’90s, will be called “iNewton,” according to an Apple press release.

“We believe the Newton OS is, by far, the superior platform, and truly belongs on our Touch-based products,” Phil Schiller, Apple’s vice president of worldwide marketing, said. “We made a mistake. The mobile OS X was a good platform, but iNewton will blow everyone away.”

Featuring black and white graphics, a green screen, and a new stylus-based input approach, the iNewton OS looks much like the Newton OS it takes its name from. Apple launched the original Newton OS in 1991 with the MessagePad personal digital assistant, and followed up with a 2.0 release with the MessagePad 120 and later models.

The announcement sent Apple stock prices soaring, up $60 to a high of $200 per share as of the market’s closing. Worried investors, distraught over the recent nosedive in Apple share prices, rallied to bump up Apple’s stock to the highest level in the company’s history.

“The doubts about Apple’s ability to innovate are long gone,” said Isaac Naughten, a prominent Wallstreet banker, said after the closing bell Tuesday. “All the complaining about Apple’s walled-garden strategy in terms of development disappeared in an instant.”

Apple discontinued the Newton platform in March 1998, shortly after Steve Jobs took over the role as company CEO.

Now, Apple plans on launching a series of “n”-prefixed products – like “nMac,” “nPod,” and “nPhone” – in deference to the revamped Newton OS.

“We couldn’t call it ‘nNewton,'” Schiller said. “That would just be silly. But everything else gets an update in this new Newton-centric age. And you can call me the ‘nVP’ from now on.”

Apple’s goal of selling 10 million nPhones by year’s end may not take that long, said some Wallstreet analysts. The company may sell 10 million nPhones in April alone. Naughten agreed.

“I feel bad for those left with the old iPhone,” he said. “Because now we’re going to see a record spike in sales and adoption rates of the nPhone device.”

Newton MessagePad fans, a disgruntled but passionate underground community that still uses the defunct Newton platform, celebrated in online discussion forms. The previous Newton OS already featured a full software library, and many Newton developers said creating software to run on the new nPhone will a simple matter of porting.

There is no word yet from Apple on whether the Mac “Leopard” OS will be updated to reflect the n-centric naming scheme, but insiders hinted at a tablet-style Mac that will run the new iNewton software.

Executives at Microsoft, developers of the rival Windows operating system, were said to be baffled by the move.

“We didn’t see this coming,” Steve Ballmer, Microsoft CEO, said in a statement. “But you can count on our next Windows release being monochrome, too.”