Newton Poetry

Head to my eBay listing to bid on my baby – an iMac G4.

Please, give it a good home.

Fancy leather satchel? Check. Gun? Check.

Newton MessagePad? Check!

Here’s a scene from Under Siege 2, starring the acting superstar Steve Seagal, where the Newton helps to save the day.

Shucks, it’s virtually a commercial for the little gadget.

I just hope it doesn’t reveal too many of those top-secret recipes.

After the new iMacs, MacBooks, and Mac Minis were released yesterday, I couldn’t but notice Apple posted an evolutionary progression of the iMac models. The all-in-one, Apple says, was a “great idea.”

Except it was missing one: the poor iMac G3 line.

So here it is added. I also celebrated the iMac relaunch with a new iPhone wallpaper. Enjoy.

“I had enormous difficulty installing these patches until I read the advice to have as much space as possible on the eMate and the 2100 before trying it, after which it went like clockwork. After several weeks of frustration one feels such an idiot for having ignored that advice, but great relief when it is done. Thanks to everyone who made it possible.”

– Oliver Leaman, sharing his 2010 patch experiences with NewtonTalk. Learn more about the Newtpocalypse, and how it was avoided.

Take the iPhone form factor, marry it to the Newton’s stellar handwriting recognition, and you have the latest in PDA technology.

Well, kinda.

Above is a Notepod – a simple notepad shaped like an iPhone. For $18, you get three pocket-perfect notepads shipped from Australia. On the outside, you get a blank iPod Touch-like page, while the inside pages have grid-style paper for notes, doodles, or iPhone app ideas.

Maybe best of all, it recognizes your handwriting no matter how drunk you get – even if you don’t.

Or you can simply make your own with the Hipster PDA templates over at Active Voice. Whichever.

Via DIY Planner.

Connected Internet has a discussion of how the Newton was simply waiting for the right technologies to come along.

Author shailpik says, during the Newton years, the hardware wasn’t advanced enough, the Internet was just getting its start, and file storage is now easier than ever:

It was task enough to make a portable computer, let alone a handheld one. Even if a practical tablet could be made, the price would be way too high for mass adoption at any level. Plus, what would the users have done with it? The Internet was nowhere near its current reach and digital content was still pretty much scattered all over the place. Forget online social networking.

I often hear that the Newton was ahead of its time, which can make us Newton users feel good that we’re using an advanced-at-the-time product. That, combined with its personality, makes a MessagePad or eMate a lot of fun.

Now we’ll see what tech companies do with touchscreen, tablet-like devices now that all the factors – technology, software, price – are coming together.

Grant Hutchinson has put together a fresh batch of great Newton photography at his Flickr gallery, Beautiful Newton, including the above shot courtesy of oxymoronik.

There are some fantastic shots in Splorp’s gallery, including an eMate-in-the-wild shot, and a submission from Sonny Hung’s Frozen Newton collection. Besides the eMate shot, my favorite has to be this simple MessagePad close-up.

[Via splorp.]

One possible outcome of the Apple tablet rumors.

I’d buy it.

[Via Joy of Tech.]

Foyer scrota and severe heavers ago our flashovers brought force on thy cosmetician a new notion conceives in lubricate and deducted to the prosecution that all men are crated quail.

From Clark Humphrey’s Misc Media, circa 1994. His Newton Poetry version of the Gettsyburg Address comes about a third of the way down while discussing Newton’s handwriting recognition.

“It may not be able to make an exact digital version of what you write on it,” Humphrey says, “but it can turn it into computer-assisted cut-up poetry!”

In fact, that’s how I started Newton Poetry – take a random piece of poetry, write it into my MP110, and type down whatever came out.

Yes, we know – everyone hated the iMac puck mouse/Newton/Mac TV/Pippin. There’s no more need to include it in a “Top # Apple Mistakes” list anymore.

For the past few years, for as long as I’ve been writing Newton Poetry, these “worst of” lists have cropped up from time to time. Most of them mention a similar combination of the above Apple “mistake” products. Chances are, each list will feature the same disliked Apple products as every other what-were-they-thinking list.

It’s a sham, and it’s annoying.

First, the whole “top 10” list is simply an easy way to be Dugg and Stumbled Upon. I should know – I’m guilty of it myself. The difference is that I didn’t have to browse through other sites, copy their content, and paste it into the site. Every blog and site these days has to have their own iteration of the “worst of” list. Sure, each post probably generates a bit of traffic and tons of comments. The result, however, is that the site ends up looking desperate and silly.

Second, these posts are unoriginal in the extreme. In fact, it’s easy to predict what products will be featured in any given list. Here’s a quick rundown of Apple products you should have never purchased, just off the top of my head:

1. Apple iMac hockey puck mouse
2. Some Apple Newton MessagePad or eMate
3. Apple/Bandai Pippin
4. Mac TV
5. Mac Portable
6. PowerMac G4 Cube
7. Apple III
8. Apple Lisa
9. Some random Performa or LC model
10. 20th Anniversary Mac

Funny that no one mentions the Apple Hi Fi or, as of yet, the Apple TV. Perhaps in a few years those products will be included, too.

Here’s the point: it’s as if, when tech blogs are pressed for fresh content, they generate some unoriginal, macabre list of Apple failures and run it as a “top 10” post. Voila – instant page views.

Us Apple fans, and especially us Newton fans, deserve better in-depth analysis than what we all ready know to be true. I hope that Apple fans see past such drivel, and skip the link on Macsurfer.

“What the hell’s wrong with you?” our collective wisdom should tell these sites. “Get a goddamn life.”

No, Apple’s not perfect, and yes, we remember the devil-spawned puck mouse. Can we move on?

There for a while, I was reporting on every damned list that included the Newton. My knee-jerk reaction was outrage, of course, but after a while that outrage turned into a passive frustration. Now, it’s just annoying.

Because it keeps happening. Like clockwork.

Sure, we can argue all day about whether the Newton platform was a failure. And we could have some yucks over how clunky (yet beautiful) the Cube really was.

But we only need to have those conversations once or twice. Not every week.

Shame on the blogs that run these “worst of” posts, and shame, especially, to those high-traffic sites that have the resources and talent to generate perfectly good and suitably worthwhile content.

Don’t resort to everyone’s-doing-it posts like these. You ought to know better.