Newton Poetry

Funny. I like how the Newton talks in the old Mac OS’s Mr. Roboto voice.

Nice dig at the Zune, too.

Owning a two-and-a-half year old iBook is not without its drawbacks. That clean white Apple finish? Totally gross from palm sweat and finger goo.

But I’m here to testify to the power of the Magic Eraser.

It all started when a friend of mine bought a new white MacBook. I brought my iBook G4 over to show her how things have changed. She took one look at my keyboard and said, “Yuck, is that how mine’s going to look?” I said probably, but I was kind of embarrassed. I love Apple’s white, clean look. I didn’t want mine all dirty.

So I bought a sample pack of the Magic Erasers at the dollar store, and gave it a try.

In a word: wow. It’s like a whole new laptop.

I was worried that the Magic Eraser’s intense abrasive action (it works like super-powered, but gentle, sandpaper) might damage the iBook’s finish. But no worries. One swipe and the palm rest looked brand new. And the keys on the keyboard? Gorgeous. A simple application of water, wring the Eraser out completely (don’t want any water sneaking in anywhere), and a paper towel to wipe up the excess. That’s all it takes. It’s like an undo button for your Mac.

Now I just wish I hadn’t waited so long to try it out (others have met similar results). I also wish I had taken some before and after shots, just to show you how nice my iBook looks now.

Next up are the apartment walls and my iPod, whose scroll wheel is looking a little worse for wear.

[Image courtesy Mr. Clean.]

At times, Steven Levy’s tone in The Perfect Thing: How the iPod shuffles commerce, culture, and coolness winks and nods at the reader as many Apple-inspired blogs do: he’s one of us, and he’s intimate with the subject.

Levy’s voice makes The Perfect Thing a breeze to read, and not just because of the book’s modest lenght. In revealing the software, hardware, and philosophical origins of the most popular MP3 player on the planet, he easily makes the case for the iPod’s overwhelming popularity.

More… »

by Ogden Nash

To keep yoir marriacze brimming
With love in the loving up,
Whenever you’re wrong, admit it;
Whenever ijare right, Shut up.

[Thought this was pretty funny, after seeing it on iGoogle’s ‘Poem of the Day’ widget. Read the original here. Any husbands that can testify?]

Today I learned that, really, I know nothing about investing.

I reached this conclusion earlier today after, despite all the good news that came our way earlier this week, the word “caution” was thrown around on investing sites like a circus midget.

All this before Apple released its second quarter report:

On Tuesday, Shaw Wu, of American Technology Research, cut his rating on Apple’s stock to neutral from buy. Wu called the move “a very tough decision as we have been bullish on Apple for the past several years.” Wu said he had concerns over the run-up in Apple’s share price after it rose more than 45% in the last two months, saying the stock is “no longer inexpensive” as it traded at 32 times his 2008 calendar year earnings estimate of $5.30 a share. Wu also said there is a chance Apple could experience a product “vacuum” as it prepares to launch new products late in the summer, such as a refreshed line of Mac computers and the anticipated launch of a third-generation iPhone that will run on a faster network that AT&T Inc.’s current network.

So, am I to understand that this kind of “concern” comes from…what…Apple being too successful? Or a calm before the 3G iPhone storm?

I just don’t get it. Yesterday it was “Buy AAPL!” Today’s it’s “well, shares are no longer inexpensive” and “results might not meet expectations.”

What we can all learn is that anyone who puts their brain on AAPL stock immediately loses all sense of focus, self, and sanity. Some call it “volatile,” I call it, “we just did some acid and got on E-trade to mess around.” It makes no sense.

That E-trade baby? The one who pukes and jokes and hangs out with clowns? Even that’s funny compared to this.

And I’m not looking at this as a concerned investor who might get his money back after a stupid gamble. What I don’t understand is how a company’s self-worth is determined by one guy whose quotes enter the financial echo chamber and amnesia sets in – much as a black-out drunk forgets the night before – and everyone behaves as if the day before never even happened.

Have these people no sense of decency? Is this why Alka-Seltzer does so well in the American marketplace? Is it any wonder why Prozac remains in production?

Speaking of Prozac, I think mine’s wearing off…

We’ll see how the shit-fit settles in tomorrow’s market. In the meantime, consider my investing waywardness and day-trading daydreams officially over.

Demigods in Canada, and virtually unknown in the U.S., The Tragically Hip are the greatest live band I’ve ever seen.

So it was a heckuva treat to see some classic Macs sitting at the desks during the Hip’s “My Music at Work” video:

Gord Downie, the lead singer, has either a classic 128/512k Mac or a Mac SE – I can’t make out which. The video seems to be a rip on the drudgery of work, but they picked the wrong computer to represent such an idea; a Packard Bell would’ve worked much better.

They look like they’re having some fun, thanks to Gord, though I bet an office environment would be infinitely better with a Mac SE at every desk.

by Henry David Thoreau

Always the general show of things
Floats in review before my mind.
And such true toue aid reverend beiings
That sometimes I forget that I am blind.

[Read the original, from a much longer poem. I’m a big fan of Thoreau’s work, having read Walden a few years ago.]

Arthur C. Clarke’s third “prediction law” states that any sufficiently advanced technology is indistinguishable from magic.

In that case, I have a magic Newton, because after showing it to my grandma the other night, she’s convinced that what it does is beyond this world.

Grandma usually has a list of “to do” items every time I visit her – take some books out of the attic, say, or troubleshoot her iMac – so I decided to take my Newton to her place to take note of these items.

“What’s that you’re using there?” she asked me.

“I call it my ‘memory box,'” I told her. “It’s called an Apple Newton.”

I explained to her how it keeps track of my calendar items, and to-do lists, and simple notes, how to recognizes my handwriting – all the stuff the MessagePad is great at.

But it was when I showed her how to erase something, and the “poof” graphic that appears when you do, that her eyes lit up.

And the little trash can that appears when you throw a note away? That was magic, too.

I even let her try the handwriting software, but her super-fancy letters bested the Newton’s attempts at translation.

“I need one of those,” she told me, for the same reason I kept it around: tons of little notes were taking over her living space.

Grandma couldn’t believe that the 110 was made in the early 1990s, and she asked why Apple would ever stop making them.

Good questions, but I explained to her that we’ve since “progressed” to the iPod and iPhone for Newton-like tasks.

“Yes, but I don’t need a phone,” she said. “I want one of those.” She was sold. And who can blame her?

Advanced technology? Maybe not, but my Newton had enough magic in it to win over one more convert.

More good news (after Friday’s good news) on the price of AAPL.

Today was a great day, with the Apple’s stock price jumping a few dollars before they release their quarterly statement later this week.

MarketWatch.com says Apple’s statement will be one of the most “greatly-anticipated”:

Since Apple gave its update, the stock has mounted a comeback, rising more than 16% to almost $162 as feelings have grown more positive about the odds that the company will soon release a third-generation, or 3G version of the iPhone, and that sales of Macintosh computers will continue to rise.

Reports of the “imminent” 3G iPhone have been coming at us non-stop for the past few weeks – just in time to satisfy my iPhone fast (as in food, not speed).

And just think: Apple’s stock price at the close of the day they killed the Newton? A bit over $23. My, how far we’ve come.

According to Appleturns.com, the crash we saw in January is something that happens almost every time Apple announces a super quarter. Weird, huh?

Forbes.com quotes an analyst that brags the 10 million iPhone number will be no problem – which is good, because iPod interest may be slacking off. Except for the iTouch. That still has “steady demand.”

Even Dell is doing better than expected, after the doom-and-gloom story of its stock price for the past year.

So a good day for technology, and a better day for a guy who was scared his pre-Macworld experiment would crash and burn. It’s nice that investors, even with the economy tanking, feel that just about anything Apple touches is still lust-worthy. Macs are taking off like we’ve always hoped. iPhones are just as popular as we dreamed.

And the stock price? Well, it may just hit $190 after all. I have no experience or expertise in investing or stock prices, but I know hope when I see it.

I wonder what the heck I’ll do with my MessagePad when I finally purchase my iPhone, and I’m sure I’m not the only one to wonder. Some still use their Newtons everyday even after Apple has given up on it. But what are some modern, practical applications for the MessagePad? Let’s take a look.

1. Get GTD with it. Pardon the ghetto talk, but the first thing I used my Newton for was a getting-things-done gadget. I use my calendar, my to-do list (although I still haven’t quite got the hang of it), and the Notepad to keep tons and tons of lists and reminders. There are Newton applications out there to help you get started, too, no matter what Newton version you use. I refer to my MessagePad 110 as my “memory box” because it really helps to keep my brain organized.
2. Take control of your finances. Apps like Pocket Quicken and ProCalc can take your financial information on the go. Spend, save, and track all with your Newton. Since it’s always with you, your MessagePad may help you finally slay the balanced checkbook dragon. If you don’t yet have a financial system in place, here’s your chance.
3. Read a book. Who needs a Kindle? Reading is possible with an eBook on the Newton using solutions like PaperBack or Newton Press. War and Peace, anyone?
4. Take inventory. In March, I got started on a big, nasty home inventory project – logging all my possessions for insurance purposes. Put your Newton to work by jotting down book ISBNs, music collection titles, or even comic books. Take a backlit MessagePad into the attic and finally get those dust-collecting collectibles under control, and use a program like QuickFigure Pro to organize all the data.
5. Keep a travel log. I’ve been thinking about this since I’ve started planning my big New England trip. What better use for a Newton than to store directions, sites-to-see, and helpful reminders as you travel on some adventure. With its faxing capabilities, I’ve even thought of using my Newton to keep co-workers up-to-date on where I’m at and what I’m doing.
6. Play a game (or two). Retro gaming is all the rage now – why not fire up your Newton to play some Newtendo or the tried-and-true games like chess. MessagePads are like a GameBoy, without the buttons!
7. Dig out your OS 7+ Mac. I’m a low-end Mac geek, and I look for any excuse to play around on my Mac SEs or Bondi iMac. There are tons of Macs in the world collecting dust; why not break yours out and hook up the MessagePad’s serial cable and relive days of yore? Gather the kids around and show them how good they have it now. Show them the MessagePad’s recharging station, and let them know how the iPod dock idea came to be.
8. Impress your co-workers. I’ve seen this one in action first hand. If you’re having trouble talking to a co-worker, start scribbling on your Newton. Questions are bound to come up.
9. Write your own Newton Poem. Break out that English Lit 101 textbook, or Perrine’s Sound and Sense, and see how your favorite poem looks all garbled and mistranslated.
10. Rescue yourself during emergencies. Just imagine: boxes of something fall on top of you. You’re stranded in your office or garage, and you can’t reach your phone. But you have your Newton on you, and a fax, and access to a phone line. Fax for help! Use your Names database to fax off a SOS, and relax knowing those fire trucks will be arriving any minute now.
11. Hold keyboard vs. handwriting recognition Olympics. If you can’t make it to Beijing to watch this summer’s games, hold your own competitions with keyboard fans. This thread in Newtontalk inspired an idea: set up a keyboard and a Newton, and race to see who can write a certain amount of words – say, a Shakespearian sonnet – the fastest. Then see which one has the most errors. Cut out tin foil medals for the winner.
12. Study! Someone recently asked the Newtontalk list about flash card-style apps for the Newton. A, B, or C?

The possibilities are almost endless. The point is that the Newton is a viable monochrome platform in today’s millions-of-colors world. Think of something I forgot? Let me know in the comments!